No need to hold on

all the things i said,

all the things you meant,

every belief we had,

was meant to be a degrade;

you want to leave forever,

The door’s wide open,

Shed those last tears,

No more of you here;

All those promises,fake,

your love was just for sake,

learnt my lesson ,

Because you did a treason;

No need to hold on

to you

to your breath

to your smile

to your love

playing is your forte,

you are a great sport,

mind you ,am not weak,

died the girl who was meek;

life isn’t finished yet,

new dreams are set,

last of your remains,

washed away with the rains;

life is more cheery,

i have grown up more,

realized my mistakes,

and moving on forward;

No need to hold on

to you

to your touch

to your care

to your love

I am able to fly higher

you are no more my desire

there’s more to life,

than just petty love;

no need to hold on

to you

download

Advertisements

Surrender

I want to feel this closeness

I want to see our holiness

That we share, we care for each other

Amorous are we, truly & exquisitelyimagesCA9R12VS

World is ours, we rule, we live in it

I want to take you places,you’ve never been

My love, I love thee

All I want to is surrender

My heart, my soul, my body to your every core.

When we first met

You talked and we laughed

So many dreams we have woven

Treaded miles barefoot on the thornsimagesCATC3SZC

You laid a path of rose petals for me

If I trip, you’re there to hold me

All I want to is surrender

My heart, my soul, my body to your every core.

U for understanding & P for people

ImageWe all have that moment when we want people to understand us. We want them to realize the effort we put in, in understanding them. All this at the cost of not revealing anything to them. Our expectations relate to mind readers. Magically,somehow we want them to know what’s going on in our mind, what we feel and stuff like that.

Is this normal? Sometimes we feel its our right to expect all these things. We get angry, we get hurt, a twirl of emotions raging in our mind because of this simple fact. We expect our friend or lover to lend a shoulder when we are feeling low. We want others to analyze us in every way to know us because of the simple truth, that we don’t want to be blunt with them. Telling everything to them, “we want this, we don’t like it”, is like asking for attention all the time.

On a personal note,as a Piscean,considered as mysterious 😉 we just want to connect with that person,who can read our mind. :-D.This was too direct.I meant we just want that person to notice us,our body language,how we act.We may hide our feelings and won’t show it,but its proven worldwide,that  our body language speaks more.So I guess,its not tough to understand the other person,right? Only if we care enough to know that person. 🙂

On the other hand, it is abnormal too ,to expect things from people. Expectations only lead to heartbreak. Instead of waiting for people to read your mind, just be straightforward and tell everything. I know, some people will take this as emotionless- creature- behavior. How can you blurt out ?We should be considerate enough not to hurt that person. But to make them understand you ,its in the best interest to tell everything. Its all about how you present your views.

Personally I feel,we should tell them everything,whatever is plaguing us.And for that to happen,talking infront is the best option.Atleast through that way,we may see how they react to us.Talking over phone or texts,is a pretence.You never actually know what the other person is feeling . 😦

so many promises! 3

Time was flying away so fast,that she didn’t notice,it was already march.Farewell was coming round the corner and she was getting more depressed.She was a junior to him & knew it well,that he is going to leave the college this year.She has doubts whether their relationship will work or not.It was going to be a long distance one,now that he is graduating.Riya has two more years to go till she graduates.Already her friends have started teasing her about such a complicated relationship,but she dismissed their talks.

She heard from her senior friend that people can go to the farewell party as date.Riya expected him to ask her out.She was lost in her dream world, that’s when her phone buzzed.The text message was from him.

hey babe!wassup? 😉

Nothing much,just studying.You tell.

Oh!i have my hands in shit.This project is taking a lot of my time.I am stuck with the coding & have to submit this next week.Don’t know what to do! 😦

She sighed.It was the same.All the time,he talked about his work.She replied.

Don’t worry,you will come up with something.You always do. 🙂 Maybe you can rest for a while and then get back to your work.

Right!I will sleep for a while,then have dinner & get back to work.

Good!Sleep now sweetie :-* tc

tc,bye :-*

What started as daily continuous chatting was reduced to 15 minute chats nowadays.She was controlling her patience,always in an irritated mood.She kept the phone aside & concentrated into her studies.It was 2 am in the morning,and she was half expecting him to text her,but her phone was not buzzing.She felt like throwing the phone away,her anger was on the rise.He talked to her mostly at nights because in the college,he didn’t get time to talk to her or meet her,also he was afraid,lest anyone sees them together.Their relationship thrived on text messages.Tonight,she felt lonely.He didn’t text her.

Next morning,she saw him in the college.He didn’t seem to notice her or was he ignoring?She tried getting his attention.he walked past her without giving her any sign,that he acknowledged her presence.At night,he texted her.

Hi baby!what r u doin?

just thnkin abt u

oh yea!like? 😛

She knew he was talking in a dirty sense.She texted.

like u r sittin wd me nw & watchin a romantc mov

&?

then u hold my hand & caress it

&?

u pull me towrds u & hug me,kiss my forehead,& say u love me.

What?that’s it? :-O i wanted smthng else

right!U r 1 horny person.u knw wht u nly talk 2 me wen u r high or wanna tok dirty.rest of d tyms u hv ur ‘work’ or sm excuse.i m tired of ths shit.wht do u wnt frm me?tell me frnkly,is it just the non-conventional stuff u r lookin fr? :-O

y r u tokin lyk ths?u knw very well,i luv u

oh yea!its fake,jus sayin these 3 wrds,doesn’t solve nythng.i hv noticed ths,tht u reply fast wen u tok dirty or wnt to hv sex chat ,othr tyms il probly sleep while txtin u.isn  tht obvious,u wanna tok to me becoz u hv ur own intrsts to count fr.m tired.i wnt smbdy who will b thr wen m lonely,feelin unwell or sad.m alws thr fr u wen u need me.is tht too much 2 ask fr?

Riya was pissed off with him tonight & she demanded an apology.

riya!u r misundrstndin me.its nt lyk tht.

then wht is it lyk?huh?

ah!i cnt xpln,k fyn,i wont tok lyk tht,nw plz b happy.

She thought for a moment.In the past,he had made promises but never kept it.If he committed a mistake,just said a ‘sorry’ and then committed that mistake again.

u took me fr grntd,& u wil repeat ths agn,i knw it.i feel lyk brkin up wd u 😦 wen ws d last tym,u took me out?wen ws d last tym,u toked to me actually properly?

He knew it too.He never took her out,apart from the time when he took her out only to take her to his home.Just once they went out,as a proper outing.

dnt do ths 2 me! i luv u a lot.u promised me ul nvr lev me.didn i tld u frm befr tht i might nt b able to gv u time,coz m busy mostly.

yeah!nw tht u hv ths excuse,ul alws remain bzy evn tho u r free,if i cn remain awake 2 tok 2 u at nyt,y cnt u tok to me wen u r jus relaxin at hm,or watchin tv?& dnt u tok abt promises.doesn look good on ur mouth.

the fight continued & so was the deterioration to their already losing relationship.The end result came out was a mere apology from his side which she accepted meekly.But this time it was a harsh blow to her.She realised that she is losing interest in him & was scared that maybe she will never find love again,if they do breakup.She kept thinking about her options.

maybe I have high expectations.Oh no!i don’t have. I have seen other girls around me & the so called relationship they have wherein the boy does every bidding the girl makes.I don’t even have any sort of such crap.

Maybe our relationship is just pure lust.We are magnetic & that’s what works between us.No!i love him a lot.I get crazy if I don’t talk to him daily.

What about the future promises?marriage,kids?He brought this thing first.Will we ever reach to that point?I am a jerk.Seriously what i am talking about?Marriage,kids is a distant thing;I don’t even know whether we are meant for each other.But I can’t be in a casual relationship.I need a stable one which has a connected future.

Riya knew the answers,but is she being ignorant?Are they meant for each other or she is just forcing herself & him to continue this monotony?

remainder

everything was exquisite
delicious,tantalising
his lips on mine,i am numb
rhythmic assault,setting me on fire
i stop,what is this?
i need some air,too much hot
the emotions are so endearing

addiction of this kind is rare
i am the luckiest person
to have you
this isn’t fair
so many dreams we had woven
i blush when you spoke
so much love
i shouldn’t take
and now when i recall
i am speechless
tears trickle down my cheeks
where has the love gone?
where has he gone?
i wish i begged,another try if you can
answer was no,i held my head high
i agreed,i had my ego to protect
my loved ones suggested
move on babe
how can i,when i can’t even forget his name
months have passed, talking like an acquaintance
but when i have flashbacks
there’s no tear,
so much control on them,hiding the truth
i am living but not living my life

So many promises! 1

“Let’s meet up tomorrow again,this time not at your home!” suggested Riya.
Aryan was talking to someone on his phone.He looked at her,nodded & spoke for another 5 minutes on the phone.
“Sorry yaar! i was on the phone,what did you say?”
Riya rolled her eyes & repeated ,this time ordering “We are meeting tomorrow,not at your home.”
“Yaar! i can’t guarantee whether i can come tomorrow,i have to meet a friend who has come from abroad.He won’t be staying here for long.I will let you know by evening,but i am just telling you from before.”
Riya pouted her lips & literally pleaded him.Aryan could only offer his apologies.
Sitting cross-legged on the bed that night,thinking the same thing that bothers her whenever she goes to his flat.Its always the same.he makes me come to his flat,has his fill,does whatever he wants,but the next moment,he doesn’t do what i want.I always go in the hope that he will do what makes me happy,but i am always disappointed.Thank god!We didn’t make love,otherwise i will be feeling guilty for my entire life.Why can’t he do things that please me?Why everything is related to his flat?

With this she dozed off.Riya fell for Aryan accidentally.He is 2 years senior to her & is on the verge of passing out.There’s every possibility that their relationship might not work.Her friends warned her of him.Maybe he is just having a time pass before passing out,after all he never had a girlfriend before.she was an easy target.Who knows?But Riya on the other hand,was ready to sacrifice many things for him,she was serious about him.

as usual,he cancelled his plan for the next day.Riya was enraged.this is the millionth time,he is cancelling for a meet up.

I am sure,if i had agreed for another trip to his flat,he would have agreed to meet me.

She didn’t pick up his calls.She didn’t reply to his messages,such was her anger.But she gave in around midnight.She loved him so much that his voice,his loving talks melted her heart instantly.
She just loves him too much,beyond measure.

continued later on