No need to hold on

all the things i said,

all the things you meant,

every belief we had,

was meant to be a degrade;

you want to leave forever,

The door’s wide open,

Shed those last tears,

No more of you here;

All those promises,fake,

your love was just for sake,

learnt my lesson ,

Because you did a treason;

No need to hold on

to you

to your breath

to your smile

to your love

playing is your forte,

you are a great sport,

mind you ,am not weak,

died the girl who was meek;

life isn’t finished yet,

new dreams are set,

last of your remains,

washed away with the rains;

life is more cheery,

i have grown up more,

realized my mistakes,

and moving on forward;

No need to hold on

to you

to your touch

to your care

to your love

I am able to fly higher

you are no more my desire

there’s more to life,

than just petty love;

no need to hold on

to you

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ImMiNeNt ChAnGeS

imageslife has a tendency to play you as if you are just a toy.Life forgets that we are weak hearted and end up getting hurt easily.We rise up from the ashes and start afresh.But the scars remain enough to change us permanently.

Every major situation teaches us something.We learn not to make the same mistake again.But sometimes,we keep on doing the same things,because we hope that maybe this time will be different.Hope makes you do things.It is responsible for your sorrows and happiness.You don’t know what will happen to you because things are unpredictable when you do them out of hope.

Positive situations & outcomes bring out the best in you,but what about the negative?When within a short duration,all negative stuff starts happening to you,you realize life is partial to you.It has reserved all the negativity for you on purpose.We are taught lessons through these and sometimes these things change us for the better.

You change entirely.You become a different person altogether.People close to you feel different about you and may say this,” You have changed.” Your friends will adapt accordingly and understand why you have changed,but others start questioning you.People who hurt you notice that it doesn’t matter anymore what they do,because you have stopped caring for them.This time they feel awkward and get hurt.You don’t intentionally do things but your changed persona has made you into a person,that your actions and words become rough.What is more surprising is that,there’s no feeling of remorse.We feel that we are behaving normal.

The end result is we are more cautious towards everything and prevent anything bad happening to us.Our changed personality helps in alleviating all the bad influences from our life so that we become a better person and start receiving life’s best possessions. šŸ™‚

So change is necessary for life & be thankful to all the people who changed you,because every cloud has a silver lining.

Revelation

Every dream i had woven,every memory i had kept close to my heart, vanished so abruptly that i started thinking,’Really?Now i have had enough of this thing.Love never works for me and it will never be’.

Things happened for a reason and i had a control over it.Only if i had the brains to stop this,i wouldn’t have got hurt in the first place.But then i am an emotional freak,who inspite of hating all the romantic movies and novels,decided to make her life a romantic paradise.Well!I am disappointed.

Every time i promise myself i will keep away from this emotional drama,but then if you forbid someone to do something,he/she will actually do the opposite.So I am no different.:-P I plunged into the waters of sensual sultry romance only to discover that we were better off as friends.I still wonder what happened to the promises,to the constant wooing,teasing,laughing,dating?As friends we did more of these than when we were together.To make matters worse,we grew distant because more people started coming in between us and nothing was done to prevent this.Priorities changed and I was shoved to the backseat of our relationship car.

Still I didn’t lose hope.I gave it one last try and when I failed,i decided to call it quit.I had lost all hope and didn’t want to be in the monotony anymore.I had every right to crave for happiness.I don’t know what happened to us suddenly that we grew apart & we couldn’t even think of getting back together.We both claim to love each other till date,but I don’t know how much of it was true or is true.I had heard many times love makes you conquer any sort of difficulty,I don’t see my situation any close to this phrase.

I discovered some things.Love a person who shares the same belief,same caste.Trust me,you will have 99% chance of getting married,otherwise will end up getting separated.

Fall for a person who does what he says and thinks.Don’t compromise all the time,you will end up getting hurt.If the behavior & priority changes once you get into relationship,then be cautious,you are entering dark waters.

This is all my view,and I just wish,your life is more colorful and interesting than mine.May you have the love of your life.I sounded a hypocrite above and I am sorry for that.But one thing’s for sure,i do believe love exists,and I am waiting for it to find me. šŸ™‚

Complicated love

just the sight is enough to make our heart beat faster.We talk daily,laugh,roam,do possibly all kinds of things as friends and suddenly without knowing,we fall into the addictive attractive feeling of love.

Then comes,the late night talks,whispering sweet nothings,cuddling,hugging,loving each other with open arms and this continues for some months.We girls want this romance never ending.Add to this fuel are the Hollywood romantic flicks.Everything appears so perfect.

But suddenly you start feeling something amiss.Talks become less,busy schedules take up the space,more people come between you and your partner and then before you can even stop it,arguments and fights start cropping up. šŸ˜¦ You say things you don’t mean to,and get hurt by the things which you never wanted to hear.Out of desperation & frustration,some just leave their partner and part ways,others come up with solutions & some just stop talking altogether and wait for things to even out.

Every love has a sweet phase which is the initial phase,wherein everything is lovey dovey and you find everything perfect.Then comes the boring phase where you think whats happening to you.You start questioning yourself,why did you fall in love?You doubt your partner.You just feel suffocated as to what happened to the early phase.You crave for happiness,you crave for that excitement & surprises.Some people break out of such relationships.Others just work out.And then there are those,who are stuck and clueless about what to do?

People forget that to love is easy,but to keep loving is the most difficult task.What brought you and your partner close,is the reason you are together.But if that thing disappears,boredom sets in.Relationships need sparks to keep the embers burning.It needs Effort.Lack of this is the reason why love becomes boring and people commit infidelity.

So prioritize your lover.Spend as much time as possible ,through texts,Skype,calls or meet them.Keep talking & sharing.Lack of communication is the main reason why couples break apart.And keep the romance alive..Instead of flirting with others to combat your frustration,flirt with your lover.Indulge in the things which earlier brought you together šŸ™‚

Happy loving to all of you :-*

Sail light

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“The boat will never sail,” I thought

how could it, when its laden heavily

the river’s wide, the fog is heavy

I can’t even see the banks on the other side

The water flowingĀ is tumultuous

And my boat is flimsy like a feather

Life’s so long like the river

The boat is my soul

The bank is my end, but can I ever reach it?

Carrying the burdens with me,I can never sail

Let go of your worries, let go of the people who don’t matter

So many reasons you’ll find to leave them

You came here alone, must go alone

And sail through theĀ storms of life victorious

Lighten your mind, lighten your boat

Only you can maneuver

Through this river alone

so many promises! 4

Aryan didn’t ask her to come to the farewell party. Maybe she knew it already and throughout the day her mood was off. She went to the party with her friend who was into the organizing committee. He realized what was going on, and told her,”Riya!today is his farewell. He won’t give time to you.”

Riya bashed him, “I don’t want his time. I just need an acknowledgement from his side, that its real, us.” With that, she stormed out of the auditorium. Her friend knew from the start, that they were not meant for each other.

Once she reached her class, her phone started ringing. It was from him.
Why the hell is he calling me now? What does he want?
She ignored his call. She attended the classes ,but her mind was somewhere else. It wasn’t working out. Since that day onwards, she reduced her communication with him, to see whether he missed her. He was behaving his usual self. Riya was replying only to what had been asked of her. She didn’t take the effort to talk anymore. But he seemed unfazed. This only deteriorated her condition.

Exams didn’t go smoothly for her and it was during her summer project, that she took the first step. They talked, or fought, it was the same thing. He wasn’t ready to tell anyone about their relationship and casually said he will think about it.Riya knew he was lying. He wanted to meet her at his home and she agreed. She knew he will meet her, only at his home and this was perfect opportunity for her to talk a great deal with him.

She was sitting beside him on the bed and he was lying.
“Aryan ! what’s the matter?”
“Nothing! You tell.”
“I told everything”
“Riya! I will tell my friends, don’t worry”
She looked away from him. He pulled her closer to him and repeated those three words seductively. But this time, it didn’t feel magical for her. Some thing was very wrong. She brushed her fears aside. She looked at him.
He kissed her and they made out, She lost her battle once again. She didn’t know what was awaiting her.

Next week they went out. It wasn’t a date at all, He took her just as a company, and went to do his work. Throughout their relationship, they never went on a date. They went out only when she insisted, and it was like she was hanging out with a friend. This was no different. When they were coming back, her phone started ringing continuously. Her parents were calling her. She couldn’t pick their calls because they would get to know she wasn’t in the college from the background noise. Her conscience told her something was terribly wrong.Riya felt that her parents have come to know about her relationship and everything. Maybe they found her diary.

And it all proved to be true.It was a nightmare at home. Questions started pouring in.She was beaten and scolded at. Everything was becoming unbearable for her. She couldn’t face them. They didn’t want to believe that she was still a virgin. She was humiliated. What was more troubling that she couldn’t face her dad. He was hurt the most. He felt like he lost his little innocent princess who is tainted now. Riya needed Aryan to support him emotionally, but he backed away too. And that was when she broke down completely. The man, who started everything, and for whom she suffered the wrath of her parents, left her alone at her most vulnerable state. She was devastated. She broke all communication from the outside world. She didn’t even talk to her family members. Her parents took her away for a vacation. She was brooding on him. As the vacations ended, she knew she had to face the world again. She started talking to her friends who only cursed that guy.She was merely listening to them but somehow she couldn’t hate him. She busied herself in lot of activities to stop brooding. Such was her condition.
It took her entirely 3 months to get back on her feet. That’s when he started texting her again, she replied .She pleaded him to take her back. They had an on-off relationship for another month or so.But she knew she couldn’t get hurt again so ,forced herself to stray away from him. After sometime, she blocked him and accepted that it’s time to bury the past. She grew up to be more strong now emotionally. And never after that, her mind thought about that guy.

Riya knew that she trusted the wrong person and felt that being ignorant was the greatest mistake she did. When she had the chance, she should have walked out. Wrong people teach the right lessons, And she learnt that she would have a hard time trusting someone or falling in love again. šŸ˜¦

so many promises! 3

Time was flying away so fast,that she didn’t notice,it was already march.Farewell was coming round the corner and she was getting more depressed.She was a junior to him & knew it well,that he is going to leave the college this year.She has doubts whether theirĀ relationshipĀ will work or not.It was going to be a long distance one,now that he is graduating.Riya has two more years to go till she graduates.Already her friends have started teasing her about such a complicated relationship,but she dismissed their talks.

She heard from her senior friend that people can go to the farewell party as date.Riya expected him to ask her out.She was lost in her dream world,Ā that’sĀ when her phone buzzed.The text message was from him.

hey babe!wassup? šŸ˜‰

Nothing much,just studying.You tell.

Oh!i have my hands in shit.This project is taking a lot of my time.I am stuck with the coding & have to submit this next week.Don’t know what to do! šŸ˜¦

She sighed.It was the same.All the time,he talked about his work.She replied.

Don’t worry,you will come up with something.You always do. šŸ™‚ Maybe you can rest for a while and then get back to your work.

Right!I will sleep for a while,then have dinner & get back to work.

Good!Sleep now sweetie :-* tc

tc,bye :-*

What started as daily continuous chatting was reduced to 15 minute chats nowadays.She was controlling her patience,always in an irritated mood.She kept the phone aside & concentrated into her studies.It was 2Ā amĀ in the morning,and she was half expecting him to text her,but her phone was not buzzing.She felt like throwing the phone away,her anger was on the rise.He talked to herĀ mostlyĀ at nights because in the college,he didn’t get time to talk to her or meet her,also he was afraid,lest anyone sees them together.Their relationship thrived on text messages.Tonight,she felt lonely.He didn’t text her.

Next morning,she saw him in the college.He didn’t seem to notice her or was he ignoring?She tried getting his attention.he walked past her without giving her any sign,that he acknowledged herĀ presence.At night,he texted her.

Hi baby!what r u doin?

just thnkin abt u

oh yea!like? šŸ˜›

She knew he was talking in a dirty sense.She texted.

like u r sittin wd me nw & watchin a romantc mov

&?

then u hold my hand & caress it

&?

u pull me towrds u & hug me,kiss my forehead,& say u love me.

What?that’s it? :-O i wanted smthng else

right!U r 1 horny person.u knw wht u nly talk 2 me wen u r high or wanna tok dirty.rest of d tyms u hv ur ‘work’ or sm excuse.i m tired of ths shit.wht do u wnt frm me?tell me frnkly,is it just theĀ non-conventionalĀ stuff u r lookin fr? :-O

y r u tokin lyk ths?u knw very well,i luv u

oh yea!its fake,jus sayin these 3 wrds,doesn’t solve nythng.i hv noticed ths,tht u reply fast wen u tok dirty or wnt to hv sex chat ,othr tyms il probly sleep while txtin u.isn Ā tht obvious,u wanna tok to me becoz u hv ur own intrsts to count fr.m tired.i wnt smbdy who will b thr wen m lonely,feelin unwell or sad.m alws thr fr u wen u need me.is tht too much 2 ask fr?

Riya was pissed off with him tonight & she demanded an apology.

riya!u r misundrstndin me.its nt lyk tht.

then wht is it lyk?huh?

ah!i cnt xpln,k fyn,i wont tok lyk tht,nw plz b happy.

She thought for a moment.In the past,he had made promises but never kept it.If heĀ committedĀ a mistake,just said a ‘sorry’ and thenĀ committedĀ that mistake again.

u took me fr grntd,& u wil repeat ths agn,i knw it.i feel lyk brkin up wd u šŸ˜¦ wen ws d last tym,u took me out?wen ws d last tym,u toked to me actually properly?

He knew it too.He never took her out,apart from the time when he took her out only to take her to his home.Just once they went out,as a proper outing.

dnt do ths 2 me! i luv u a lot.u promised me ul nvr lev me.didn i tld u frm befr tht i might nt b able to gv u time,coz m busy mostly.

yeah!nw tht u hv ths excuse,ul alws remain bzy evn tho u r free,if i cn remain awake 2 tok 2 u at nyt,y cnt u tok to me wen u r jus relaxin at hm,or watchin tv?& dnt u tok abt promises.doesn look good on ur mouth.

the fight continued & so was the deterioration to their already losing relationship.The end result came out was a mereĀ apologyĀ from his side which she accepted meekly.But this time it was a harsh blow to her.She realised that she is losing interest in him & was scared that maybe she will never find love again,if they do breakup.She kept thinking about her options.

maybe I have high expectations.Oh no!i don’t have. I have seen other girls around me & the so called relationship they have wherein the boy does every bidding the girl makes.I don’t even have any sort of such crap.

Maybe our relationship is just pure lust.We are magnetic &Ā that’sĀ what works between us.No!i love him a lot.I get crazy if I don’t talk to him daily.

What about the future promises?marriage,kids?He brought this thing first.Will we ever reach to that point?I am a jerk.Seriously what i am talking about?Marriage,kids is a distant thing;I don’t even know whether we are meant for each other.But I can’t be in a casual relationship.I need a stable one which has a connected future.

Riya knew the answers,but is she being ignorant?Are they meant for each other or she is just forcing herself & him to continue this monotony?