Big change


I have been staying alone for almost 6 months now and it is going to be 2 years in total!

Now, I know what you are thinking. In India, it is not common for a girl to leave the house,until unless she has her college or job in another city. This is perfectly normal for us. (Imagine saving up on rents and food :-D) My parents were really understanding and supportive when I told them that I wish to do Masters outside India.  I was looking forward to my life staying alone, not that my parents earlier restricted my actions. 😛

I have heard from lot of people,that initially its difficult,when you have to do all your work on your own. But for me,this change was not a blow. I was surprised at myself,that I accepted this change and did not fuss about it when I landed in Germany. 

The people here are more direct, which I like. You don’t have to pretend and say sweet words. They like being direct and love if the opposite person is honest. Before coming here, I had learnt about the culture from my German teachers,so for me, there was nothing shocking. They are perfectly okay with various hues of skin and curves. Most of them understand English, but not the older generation. If you try speaking in German, they love it,even though you are saying everything scrambled. 😛 One thing I agree upon, Beer is definitely their cup of tea. 

But apart from the Germans, I have a lot of international students in my class. Their cultures, their language and their personality are poles apart than mine. Initially, for me it was bit difficult how to act around them. You never know, what can get offensive for them,even though I find it funny. What worked for me in the end was observing everyone a lot and speaking only on relevant topics. I usually keep to myself. I am an ambivert so for me talking a lot was reserved only with people I was comfortable with,rest of the time, I prefer Netflixing or reading. I beleive,” Don’t try to fit in! It will happen on its own pace.”

I look forward to lot of such big changes in my life. I want to push my limits of adaptability. Wish me luck 😉




Changing Homo Sapien-Me

Hey all

I know I haven’t been a regular in blogging.Well,thanks to my college,it snatched away all my creativity for a month because I had to give a presentation on a project,that refused to work till the end and left us with no alternatives.For those of you,who want to know how did it go,my answer is,surprisingly well. 🙂

Just one more month to go,and I will be officially using the  ‘Er’ tag for an engineer,which is quite the rave these days.My day usually involves searching for jobs,studying for job exams and talking to my friends.The four years of my college went in studying,hangouts with friends & nothing more.I didn’t care much how I looked but when we saw other girls,we were awestruck at their perfection.The girls looked flawless,with the right touch of makeup with apt clothing.

Being in mechanical engineering domain,if a girl wears makeup or looks girly,they are not taken seriously.Even the faculty looks down at you in a way that makes you realize you are worthless in a field dominated by men.What’s the worst part,the males either think,”She looks too pretty to work on that machine.I have to help her.” or “She’s a girl,she will get marks easily.” :-\ Also,my own psych prevented me from experiencing the world of makeup and dresses.I clung onto comfy clothing(Jeans,tees ) with the usual pigtail & sneakers.

Now that I have ample time at home,and also looking forward to a job ambiance,my mother and I think it’s time to don on that ‘look’.I have started looking at video tutorials,reviews of various makeup brands and compiled my own list of must-haves.I went out shopping for affordable cosmetics and returned home victorious.I started testing with them so that I am ready for office look and also for any party.You won’t believe,I looked at those beauties like a child looking at his huge crayon box. 😀

I am shocked that I am becoming into entirely different person.I take care of myself,read about skin care and health and love getting ready for any event. 😛 I don’t know whether this change is good or not,but I like light makeup.Since my skin doesn’t permit such foreign bodies touching me,I cannot experiment so much.Otherwise I am excited to wear that ramp look always . 😉

So all those engineers,doctors and girls from hectic professions,don’t shy away from the world of beauty.You will feel good.



No need to hold on

all the things i said,

all the things you meant,

every belief we had,

was meant to be a degrade;

you want to leave forever,

The door’s wide open,

Shed those last tears,

No more of you here;

All those promises,fake,

your love was just for sake,

learnt my lesson ,

Because you did a treason;

No need to hold on

to you

to your breath

to your smile

to your love

playing is your forte,

you are a great sport,

mind you ,am not weak,

died the girl who was meek;

life isn’t finished yet,

new dreams are set,

last of your remains,

washed away with the rains;

life is more cheery,

i have grown up more,

realized my mistakes,

and moving on forward;

No need to hold on

to you

to your touch

to your care

to your love

I am able to fly higher

you are no more my desire

there’s more to life,

than just petty love;

no need to hold on

to you


Forbidden Fruit

Feeling so intense, never felt this way,

Our eyes meet, heartbeat racing,

You hold me as close ,as tight;

I breathe in your fragrance,

I look up at you, is this all true?

Embracing the warmth, coursing through my body,

You change unreal to real;

How can I possibly bear all?

This amorous relation, so pure,

My heart aches just to see it untitled,

Togetherness is not written on the cards;

We try harder but it won’t last,

I see you slipping away into your world,

Knowing it won’t work;

My love is so strong,

It takes me to where I belong;

Why does it have to be you?

When I know, its forbidden fruit I am biting into

U for understanding & P for people

ImageWe all have that moment when we want people to understand us. We want them to realize the effort we put in, in understanding them. All this at the cost of not revealing anything to them. Our expectations relate to mind readers. Magically,somehow we want them to know what’s going on in our mind, what we feel and stuff like that.

Is this normal? Sometimes we feel its our right to expect all these things. We get angry, we get hurt, a twirl of emotions raging in our mind because of this simple fact. We expect our friend or lover to lend a shoulder when we are feeling low. We want others to analyze us in every way to know us because of the simple truth, that we don’t want to be blunt with them. Telling everything to them, “we want this, we don’t like it”, is like asking for attention all the time.

On a personal note,as a Piscean,considered as mysterious 😉 we just want to connect with that person,who can read our mind. :-D.This was too direct.I meant we just want that person to notice us,our body language,how we act.We may hide our feelings and won’t show it,but its proven worldwide,that  our body language speaks more.So I guess,its not tough to understand the other person,right? Only if we care enough to know that person. 🙂

On the other hand, it is abnormal too ,to expect things from people. Expectations only lead to heartbreak. Instead of waiting for people to read your mind, just be straightforward and tell everything. I know, some people will take this as emotionless- creature- behavior. How can you blurt out ?We should be considerate enough not to hurt that person. But to make them understand you ,its in the best interest to tell everything. Its all about how you present your views.

Personally I feel,we should tell them everything,whatever is plaguing us.And for that to happen,talking infront is the best option.Atleast through that way,we may see how they react to us.Talking over phone or texts,is a pretence.You never actually know what the other person is feeling . 😦

Not Meant For Love

when i first saw you
i knew it was only you
instant connection
with no deliberation
we talked for a while
and i made you mine
but forgot to ask you
whether you love me too
though later you say
you love me so true
but i don’t know
my heart fails to get it
even though i want to
there’s little bit regret
did i rush into this?
cause, the way you talked endless
now its just minutes or less
did i do something wrong?
or you, somewhere else, belong?

you don’t speak much
and i got tired of asking you
though i used to
but you never answered
my ego is on the rise
do you really love me right?
is it just physical you seek?
i am not that girl,i am meek
so tell me,do you wish to go forward?
cause,already my time’s wasted
i don’t want to anymore
it would hurt me
more than you know
though i may act ignorant
but you won’t know
what lies in my heart
you never unearthed it
cause,you were too far
you weren’t interested
and i cried hard
why i even met you!
you only talked,when you were bored
where’s the respect,i deserve?
i am much more worth
you don’t realise
i was your first girl
but you aren’t treating her right
if you don’t change
she will go,to the place she is happier
she tried hard to make you come back
but you failed to realise her effort
you aren’t meant for love

Just for now

i get hurt
by that word,
when i know u won’t b there.

i am with u
fr the time,
 its the only moment i have.
i know what is in the future;
i know u just won’t b there.
u r afraid of them,i know.
yet u hv hopes fr me still,
but i know its not so…
coz its never gonna work!
maybe i love you too much,

to let you go now,
but i will shed tears when time comes.

 i will hide them,
you won’t know,
to bid you goodbye;
with a smile alone.
i will be happy wherever you are,
with whomever you want to,
coz i have the memories to live with.
cherishing them in my heart,
that i met & loved such a beautiful person!